Orphanage.

As I walked into the Orphanage of the Handicapped, my eyes at first needed to be adjusted to the darkness in the room (no electricity). I started to make out figures, and then saw four children wheelchair bound and one boy sprawled out across the floor. Before I could even reach out to them, a large boy ran up and embraced me tightly. He led me away to a different room where the remainder of the orphans were finger painting. I knelt down next to a girl (who I later learned was Autistic, deaf, and mostly blind), and stroked her back. Upon sensing my touch, she frantically grabbed my arm and tucked it in close to her abdomen, and hugged it tightly. I wrapped my free arm around her waist and lay my head on her back. This child was abandoned at the hospital, left to starve to death due to her disabilities, and she was blessing me with her affection. Burning tears stung my eyes and I whispered to God, "Father, is this how you feel when I cling to you? Is this just a fraction of the joy you have when I love you?"

We spent the first hour of the day doing VBS type activities outside. A skit, songs, crafts, and such, but soon discovered that these lower functioning children really just wanted affection and company. So the remainder of the day was spent just being flexible and doing whatever the kids wanted to do. At one point, I walked back inside to get a drink of water, and caught a glimpse of those five children that I initially saw when I entered. I immediately felt guilty for neglecting to include them. I took one of the girls in a wheelchair and started to push her to the door that led outside with everyone else, only to realize that there wasn't a wheelchair accessible ramp. I pushed her back and decided to just play with them inside. I retrieved a few toys and stuffed animals and just loved them. When I reached the boy (Ricky) that was sprawled out across the floor, I started by stroking his back and playing peek-a-boo, but at some point realized that he probably wanted to get off the floor for a little bit. I picked the him up and set him upright in my lap. He immediately started belly laughing, clearly very thankful to be sitting up. He kept grabbing my arms and wrapping them around his belly for a hug.

It's a bit emotional to look at such lively, spunky children and know that the reason they are at the orphanage and not in a home of their own is because they are considered cursed and undesirable. That these same children that brought laughter and joy to us were left for dead at some point in their lives. It's inspiring to see that although they have every right to be miserable, they're so incredibly happy. The children fight like brothers and sisters, but they also love one another in the same way. I think every one of us interns would have swooped up at least one of the children and adopted them on the spot if we could.

I will never know if I made an impact on those children's lives. Part of me wonders if they even remember who I am right now, or if they'll remember how much I love them. Considering that nearly all the children were nonverbal, it's not as if I'll ever hear them express their appreciation. But thankfully, that's not why we do what we do. In Luke 14:12-14, Jesus tells us not to invite in those who can repay us, but those who cannot. That we are called to invite the crippled, the poor, the lame, and the blind and that we will be blessed. I'm so happy that although I'll never know if I made a difference in the lives of those children that I so dearly love, God blessed me. He gave me this incredible surge of joy and He revealed His heart to me. I can better understand God's love for myself, and He has opened my eyes to the need in the world. A very, very successful first day, and I just can't contain all these wild emotions that I'm feeling. I'm so thankful to be a part of this experience.